


A Perfect Date Goes Horribly Wrong

by NotEvenCloseToStraight



Series: Valentines Day Fics! [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Awkward Dates, Bad dates, Bucky is a sweetheart, Cheesy, Dating, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Mush, Funny, M/M, Presents, Romance, valentines day, winteriron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 13:33:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17705201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotEvenCloseToStraight/pseuds/NotEvenCloseToStraight
Summary: “I think we’re fine as since we’re in the bigger boat.” Tony looked nervous as the swan swam closer. “People don’t get attacked by swans, right? They’re like ballerinas and ballerinas don’t attack people.”“Well I mean” Bucky’s eyes widened when another swan approached from the other side. “You’ve met Nat? Because she is definitely a ballerina that would attack you."“Yeah, she is pretty terrify–ING! OH MY GOD BUCKY HELP!” Tony screeched when one of the swans jerked towards him, wings flaring and mouth open. “WHAT IS HAPPENING!?”“Tony, wait! You’re going to fall!” Bucky grabbed at Tony’s belt loops before he pitched over the side of the swan boat. "I’m sure the bird’s just posturing– HOLY SHIT IT TRIED TO BITE ME!”Tony screamed when Bucky screamed, the boat rocking dangerously and nearly throwing them over the sides. The bird swam away and Bucky got them settled so the boat operator would stop shouting at them from shore.“Uh, Buck?” Tony squeaked. “We have a bigger problem than mean swans.”“The boats sinking and we’re going in the water?”“Yep.”“Dripping in disgusting lake goo?”“Most likely.”“Bring it on.”*************(A Vday Commission from Tumblr!)





	A Perfect Date Goes Horribly Wrong

Sunrise on Valentines Day was at exactly 7:07am.

At exactly 7:06 am Bucky was perched at the end of his and Tony’s bed, piccolo raised to his lips and waiting for daybreak so he could wake Tony up with a soft serenade and start this very first, very  _perfect_  Valentines Day together.

“Good morning sweet thing.” He murmured, and Tony stretched in the bed, a silly sleepy smile on his face. “Happy Valentines Day.”

“Happy Valentines Day soldier.” Tony whispered back, dark eyes lighting with  _interest_  when he realized Bucky was wearing nothing but a towel, hair still damp and water drops tracking down his bare chest. “Actually, happy Valentines Day to  _me_. You’re coming back to bed, right?”

“As soon as I wake you up properly.” Bucky lifted the piccolo and took a deep breath and–

_Shriiiieeeeekkkkkkk!_

“AH!” Tony gave a shriek of his own, clapping his hands over his ears and diving for the pillows. “Bucky! What the  _fuck_!”

“Oh my god!” Bucky dropped the instrument in horror. “I thought I could play you a song on the piccolo– they said it was just a tiny flute! I don’t understand why–”

“That’s a recorder you doofus!” Tony shouted. “You just puckered up and blew as hard as you could into a plastic recorder! I’m having flashbacks to fourth grade music class and it isn’t good!”

“I’m sorry!” Bucky shouted back. “I was trying to be romantic!”

“You almost burst my ear drums! How is that  _romantic_?”

A knock at the door and they both looked up in confusion. “Who the hell is knocking at our door at seven in the morning?” Bucky tightened the towel around his waist and stomped over to the door. “What? What do you want? It’s  _Valentines_  day!”

“Yes.” Clint stood on the other side of the door, bare ass naked other than a pillow held in front of his nethers, looking grumpy and disgruntled. “Yes, it  _is_  Valentines day and I was basically balls deep into my celebration when I thought I heard a scream like someone was dying and then you two goons started shouting. Tell me, Frosty.  _Why_  are you shouting at seven am on Valentines day?”

“I was trying to play the piccolo for Tony.” Bucky retorted. “Take your naked ass back downstairs and resume your celebration.”

“I can promise that after seeing you in a towel and realizing you use the word piccolo as code for  _dick_ , my celebration is probably over until later tonight.” Clint informed him. “But thanks anyway.”

“Piccolo is not code for my dick!” Bucky yelled down the hallway. “Clint? CLINT?! Ugh.” he shut the door and turned back to Tony. “Okay, Tony I–wait, are you laughing?”

“I’m sorry!” Tony clutched a pillow tight, trying his hardest not to giggle at his boyfriend. “I’m  _sorry_ , but Clint jumping out of bed mid coitus with Nat to come up here to make sure no one was dying? And then he thought playing your piccolo was your way of talking about your dick? OH MY GOD.”

“Okay but like–” Bucky frowned down at the offending recorder. “I wouldn’t call my dick a  _piccolo_. That just sounds tiny. Maybe like… a bass guitar.”

Tony  _screamed_  with laughter, outright chucking the pillow at Bucky and diving under the blankets to try and be at least a little bit quiet.

“Tony.” Bucky narrowed his eyes. “Tony, it wasn’t that funny.”

“I’m definitely going to ask you if you want to go to band practice every time I want to get laid!” Tony cried, wiping at tears as he tried to get himself under control. “Is the bass guitarist also the lead singer? Are you a screamer? A head banger? Oh my god, am I your groupie?”

“No no it’s fine.” Bucky flung the pillow back at Tony, checking his strength so it barely bounced off of him. “Keep laughing, Tony. Keep laughing and I’m going to cancel the rest of the day today which would be a real shame because I have something great planned.”

“Okay okay I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Tony dragged in a deep breath, lips still twitching with the need to laugh. “I um– I don’t want to miss out on our day together. Sorry. I’m good. I’m good. Recorder disaster aside, I’m really excited to spend the day with you.”

“Okay.” Bucky kissed him gently. “Well, good morning anyway.”

“Good morning, baby.” Tony said seriously, and then less seriously, “If I stroke your bass guitar right will it play Smoke on the Water?”

“I’m leaving you.” Bucky threw up his hands and stomped towards the closet. “That’s it, we’re breaking up. Have a good Valentines Day alone. Jerk.”

“Bucky! Bucky wait! Bucky I love you!”

*****************

Breakfast was planned for a tiny cafe tucked between two old bookstores, and it took Bucky a full half an hour to get Tony out of the first bookstore and into the cafe, promising several times that  _yes_ they could go into the other bookstore but first they needed to eat.

“This cafe has the best Eggs Benedict.” Bucky assured him, directing Tony to a delightfully antique table with matching chairs in front of the big window that overlooked the river. “They serve it with smoked salmon and capers and enough hollandaise sauce to drown in, so I know you’ll love it.”

“Oooh.” Tony finally dragged his gaze away from the tempting book shelves and sat down. “That does sound yummy.”

“Well we can restart our morning at least.” Bucky said dryly. “We didn’t get to have a romantic serenade but we can have your favorite breakfast, right?”

“This is going to be amazing.” Tony reached across and squeezed Bucky’s hand. “And I’m sorry for laughing so hard this morning, you tried really hard to wake me up nicely and while a piccolo wasn’t what I was expecting when I saw you sitting half naked on the bed looking all sexy, it was very sweet of you to try.”

“Alright then.” They shared a kiss, Bucky scrunching his nose playfully when Tony tugged at his hair. “Let’s get some breakfast.”

“Good morning, good morning!” the waitress was adorable and cheery as she sat peach Bellini’s down on their table. “And a very Happy Valentines Day to you two! Have we decided on breakfast yet or do you need a moment?”

“This hottie over here–” Bucky winked at Tony, who winked right back and started chugging his Bellini. “– wants the salmon Benedict, light on the capers but heavy on the hollandaise. I’ll have steak and eggs.”

“Oh.” Her mega watt smile slipped just a bit. “Oh I’m so sorry, we are out of our salmon Benedict, all sold out.”

“Oh.” Tony didn’t even hesitate, not so much as a flicker of disappointment on his face. “That’s fine! How about a florentine Benedict?”

“Oooh.” She clicked her tongue. “Sorry. Any form of Benedict is unavailable right now.”

“Is it a hollandaise problem?” Bucky asked curiously, and a tad bit annoyed. “Or a no egg problem or–?”

“New cook.” She said apologetically. “Can’t poach an egg to save his life, but on everything else he is wonderful, I promise.”

“Alright, no poached eggs.” Tony eyed his already empty drink. “What about a veggie and egg white omelet?”

“I can do that!” Brightly, the waitress scribbling on her note pad. “And for you, hon?”

“Steak and eggs.” Bucky repeated. “Steak medium rare, eggs runny, and–”

“Yikes, no steak! So sorry!”

“Okay.” Tony pulled a fifty out of his wallet and pressed it into her palm. “Thank you very much for the champagne drink, but I think we’ll find somewhere else for breakfast. Happy Valentines Day.”

“Um– Happy Valentines Day?” she said slowly and Tony hustled Bucky up and out the door.

“Damn it.” Bucky sighed. “Tony, I picked that place out for you  _months_  ago. I knew you would love their food and I can’t believe they were out of everything. I really wanted to give you a great breakfast.”

“Well, we could duck down this side alley and you could give me something  _else_  for breakfast.” Tony suggest, and when Bucky’s mouth dropped, Tony elbowed him playfully. “Huh? Huh? You want to give me something else for breakfast?”

“What in the hell is wrong with you today?” Bucky finally asked. “Jokes about bass guitars? Suggesting illicit moments in alleys? Who are you?”

“Valentines Day makes me weird.” Tony shrugged. “So. Ihop for breakfast?”

“Fine.” Bucky grumbled. “Then we have plans at noon okay?”

“Plans at noon.” Tony bussed a kiss to his cheek. “I can’t wait.”

********************

“Oh my god, plans at noon were boating with the swans?!” Tony shrieked out loud when they got out of the car and he saw what was waiting. “Bucky are you serious? I have always wanted to do this! How did you know I always wanted to do this!”

“Pepper.” Bucky admitted, grinning when Tony just threw himself into his arms, smothering him in a long kiss. “I asked her if there was something you’d always wanted to do at Valentines Day but never did and she automatically said swans. Didn’t even hesitate. Said that every single year for as long as she’s known you, you’ve wanted to go boating with the swans and never did.”

“I never did.” Tony’s smile was stretched almost comically wide. “I have never done this and look! The boats are just as cheesy as I always thought they would be!”

“Tony, you have more money than I could probably count.” Bucky took his hand as they headed down the dock. “So I know it’s not a price issue. And I’ve heard the stories of the stuff you dragged Colonel Rhodes into, so I know it’s not because you never had anyone to go with. You’ve lived in New York for over twenty years. Why haven’t you done this even once?”

“Because.” Tony answered noncommittally, then stood on his toes to try and scope out which swan boat he wanted. “Can we have the one with the blue bow tie painted on? It sort of looks like your eyes and I like that.”

“We want the one with the blue bow tie.” Bucky informed the operator, then turned back to Tony. “Seriously babe, how is it that you will order the most random things in the world online but when it comes to doing something you actually want, you wait twenty years to make it happen?”

“Oh well–” Tony shrugged, shoved his hands in his pockets. “I mean, I didn’t have anyone to go with.”

“Colonel Rhodes.” Bucky pointed out. “Pepper, because she was your assistant, you could just write it in as one of her duties. Clint would go with you in a heartbeat and definitely Sam, it could be the bird brains chance to commune with their winged brothers. Steve is a dork, you could  _trick_  him into doing it. And–”

“It doesn’t matter!” Tony interrupted and pointed at the water. “There’s our boat! Let’s go!”

“Oh my god.” Bucky rolled his eyes but jogged after Tony anyway, holding the damn thing still while Tony wobbled his way onto one end of the seat and patted the spot next to him cheerfully. “You know how to work a paddle boat, don’t you?”

“Bucky, I’m a genius.” Tony scoffed. “The day I don’t know how to operate a paddle boat is a –hey are we going backwards?”

“Pedal the other way, sweetheart.” A long suffering, distinctly fond sigh. “Christ, it’s good that you’re cute.”

“I love you too.” Tony cheesed a grin over at Bucky and pumped his fist excitedly. “Let’s see how fast this bird can go!”

As it turned out, Tony’s excitement was short lived, because not even the most vigorous amount of paddling from a playboy billionaire and his super soldier boyfriend could convince an overly heavy boat that resembled a barn door with terribly crafted plywood swans on either side to go more than a few miles per hour.

“I think this is as exciting as this boat ride is going to get.” Bucky commented after a few minutes and Tony sighed dejectedly.

“Yeah, I guess they don’t want me racing across the pond, I might scare the actual swans.”

“Giant birds.” Bucky said, and Tony blurted– “Oh my god! So big! Why are swans so big?”

“They’re practically ‘ _you_ ’ sized.” Bucky teased and Tony made an attempt at elbowing him, but only succeeded in banging his elbow on an unforgiving metal arm. “Aw honey, is your elbow alright?”

“You and your super soldier snark need to stop.” Tony said firmly. “The swans are not ‘ _me_ ’ sized. I’m way bigger than a swan, even if they are sort of shockingly giant and terrifying.”

“Seriously terrifying.” Bucky agreed. “Look at that one just eyeing us. Does he think we’re another swan invading his territory?”

“I think we’re probably fine as long as we’re in the bigger boat.” Tony was starting to look a little nervous as the swan swam closer. “People don’t get attacked by swans, right? They’re like nature’s ballerina dancers. There’s whole ballets written about them. Ballerina’s don’t attack people.”

“Well I mean–” Bucky’s eyes widened when another swan approached from the other side. “–You’ve met Nat, right? Because she is definitely a ballerina that would attack you. Kill you. Suffocate you between her thighs and then pirouette away in her tu-tu with no one the wiser.”

“Yeah.” Tony chuckled. “Yeah, she is pretty terrify–ING! OH MY GOD BUCKY HELP!” He screeched at the top of his lungs when one of the swans jerked towards him, wings flaring and mouth open. “WHAT IS HAPPENING!?”

“Tony, wait! You’re going to–” Bucky grabbed at Tony’s belt loops before he pitched over the side of the swan boat. “Let’s not go for a swim, alright? I’m sure the bird’s just posturing and trying– HOLY SHIT IT TRIED TO BITE ME!”

Tony screamed when Bucky screamed, the boat rocking dangerously in the water and nearly throwing them both over the sides. Thankfully their noise and arm waving scared away the swan and it took a minute, but Bucky got himself settled and Tony back in the seat and steady and the boat operator stopped shouting at them from the shore.

“Holy crap.” Bucky dragged a hand over his face. “You alright baby? I had no idea swan boat rides were so dangerous! There should be a warning about those bitchy birds, what in the hell?”

“Uh, Buck?” Tony’s voice was very steady, but his eyes were  _very_ wide, edging on panicked. “We probably have a bigger problem than shockingly sinister cygnets.”

“What do you mean we have a bigger problem than–” Bucky looked down at their feet. “Oh no, the boats leaking.”

“I don’t want to sound like a know it all?” Tony lifted his shoes up away from the rapidly swirling water. “But the boat isn’t leaking, it is most definitely sinking and we are definitely sinking with it.”

“We’re going to end up in the water with the big birds?” Bucky asked slowly.

“Yep.” Tony nodded. “Yep yep yep.”

“Dripping in some probably disgusting lake goo?” He added with a cringe.

“Most likely.”

“Ugh.” Bucky groaned and pinched at the bridge of his nose as he felt a migraine starting. “Bring it on.”  

****************

The Swan Boat operator couldn’t do much more than stare open mouthed as Bucky marched out of the lake, Tony holding onto his back, both dripping wet with seaweed and various aquatic plant life clinging to their clothes. Bucky’s scowl was fierce enough to make the operator seriously reconsider saying anything at all, and Tony just threw a couple sodden bills in the general direction of the cash register to pay for the ruined boat.

“Bucky.” Tony mumbled once they were further away. “Let’s never do that again?”

“Yep.” Bucky shifted so Tony was a little more secure on his back. “Don’t you own one of the hotels around here?”

“I own three, why?” Tony waited a beat and then, “Oh, because we can go and get a room and shower the lake ick off of us?”

“There’s the genius I love so much.”

“Okay, yeah. Closest one is six blocks over.” Tony dug his heels into Bucky’s side. “Giddy-up– _eek_! Bucky!” he screamed when Bucky reached up with his left hand and bodily dragged Tony over his shoulder and around to face him. “Oh my, that was both terrifying and arousing. How come you don’t man handle me more with that arm?”

“Because it could break you without even trying.” Bucky said flatly. “But you kick me like a horse and say giddy-up again and your adorable ass will be walking all six of those blocks alone, do you understand?”

“Sorry.” Tony said meekly. “Can I ride on your back again? I’m all wet and squishy still.”

“Come on. Back up you go.”

******************

“Are you going to take a shower with me?” Tony stuffed all his clothes into a laundry bag and hung it outside the door of their suite. “It’s a big shower, I’m still a little cold.” he waggled his eyebrows coaxingly. “You could keep me warm.”

“No.” Bucky said shortly and Tony blinked in surprise. “No, go ahead and take a shower, I’ll get one after you’re done.”

“I could use the help washing my hair?” Tony offered, but Bucky didn’t so much as crack a smile, so Tony shut the bathroom door with a petulant frown and stepped into the hot water.

_What the hell is wrong with him?_

Bucky didn’t have much to say when Tony got out of the shower either, brushing past him and locking the door to take his own shower without more than a “excuse me” and “thank you” as they passed.

“Rude.” Tony muttered, but he shrugged into one of the overly fluffy robes hanging in the closet and flopped onto the bed, dialing for room service. “Hey yeah. Can you send me up two of whatever the lunch special is at the restaurant today? And a bottle of wine because it might only be one thirty but I definitely need a drink. Yep, yep. Thank you very much.”

He flipped through the channels on the TV idly until Bucky came out of the bathroom, towel sitting low on his waist.

“Oh  _hey_.” Tony sat up straighter on the bed. “What’s up, soldier? I feel like I woke up to this exact same sight this morning. Seemed a shame to miss out on fresh from the shower sex then, we can make up for it now, huh?”

“I uh–” Bucky swept a hand through his hair, shaking loose the rest of the water. “No thanks, Tony. I know I’m usually ready for a triple x throw down but after the day we’ve had–” he shook his head. “Maybe just some TV and a nap.”

“Wait, what do you mean after the day we’ve had?” Tony clicked the TV off and cocked his head curiously. “Babe, what’s wrong with the day we’ve had?”

“What’s  _wrong_?” Bucky echoed. “Tony, this has been probably the worst Valentines Day ever.”

“What?” Tony started to laugh, but Bucky’s eyes flashed with hurt, so he shut up. “No, no it’s definitely not the worst. Why would you say that?”

“Not the worst?” Bucky challenged, voice rising in agitation. “Tony, I’ve been planning this Valentines Day since Christmas. Since _Christmas_. I wanted it to be perfect. I bought a fucking piccolo and practiced that stupid song for weeks, then last week my piccolo broke so I ordered another one and didn’t bother checking to make sure they sent me the right one. My morning serenade turned into you almost going deaf.”

“Okay.” Tony allowed. “Okay the piccolo and recorder mix up was unfortunate but–”

“And then breakfast?” Bucky went on, gesturing wildly. “A french themed cafe squeezed between two antique book shops? It’s perfect for you. I had every intention of feeding you your favorite breakfast, then spending a few hours wandering through the book shelves with you. You probably don’t know this? But every time you read something you love your eyes get all soft and you smile the entire time and you hold books like they are the most precious things in the world and I–” he shut his eyes, the migraine from before returning full force. “You never have time to read Tony, you’re  _always_  saying you don’t have time to read anymore. I wanted to give you some time like that.”

“Bucky.” Tony’s heart broke a little at the misery in Bucky’s tone. “Baby, I–”

“But instead, they were out of everything we wanted to eat and we ended up having Valentines Day breakfast next to a troop of Girl Scouts at IHOP!” Bucky finished. “You ate red pancakes with heart shaped candy on them when you should have been smoked salmon and poached eggs and drinking champagne.”

“Sure, but–”

“And then I was so excited for the swan rides.” Bucky admitted. “When Pepper told me you’d always wanted to do it, I thought ‘yes, this is something I can give Tony that no one else has’ because let’s face it, sugar. You’ve traveled all sorts of romantic places and ate at the fanciest restaurants and get all sorts of ridiculous gifts that I could never hope to compete with but this–”

Bucky sat heavily in one of the chairs, broad shoulders slumped in defeat. “Swan boats were like this one stupid thing that I could give you, that I could do for you that no one else ever had. It would be our memory and  _only_  our memory. But instead of being a romantic little jaunt around a lake, we ended up attacked by those big ass birds and our boat sank beneath us and we had to walk six blocks reeking of gross lake water and–” he spread his hands helplessly, the words trailing off.

“You had this whole day planned out?” Tony asked quietly. “From morning clear till night?”

“Yeah. Yeah I did.”

“Well….” Tony inched off the bed, tightening the robe around his waist. “Will you tell me what you had planned for the rest of it;?”

“Um–” Bucky startled when Tony climbed into his lap, cuddling close against his chest. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Tony traced a drop of water as it fell over the metal plates on Bucky’s arm. “I want to know what else you wanted to do today.”

“Alright.” Bucky said slowly. “After the swans we were going to picnic in the park. There’s a real big tree in the north-east corner and it’s sort of a hike but I would have carried you if you wanted. There’s a picture of you–”

“–in my graduation robe with Rhodey.” Tony interrupted. “Yeah, we snuck away from my parent’s fancy graduation party to skip rocks on the lake and we ended up finding that tree by accident. Our names are still carved into it.”

“–yeah.” Bucky nodded. “Thought we could picnic there and you could tell me all the stories from your college days with Rhodey. I know you miss him, you’ve been talking about him a lot lately. Thought we could carve our initials in the tree like teenagers in love, you know?”

“Adorable.” Tony declared. “What else?”

“After the picnic I was gonna take you back home.” Bucky wove their fingers together and Tony pressed closer. “Maybe get in a short nap, but then I was going to cook you dinner. Nothing fancy, but I bought a stupid ‘Kiss the Cook’ apron and was gonna serve you out on the balcony. You never drink if we’re out in public cos you’re so worried about being silly and someone getting a picture for the tabloids, but you drink when you’re with me.”

Bucky chuckled then, dropping a kiss onto Tony’s hair. “You’re so cute when you’re drunk, do you know that? Get all giggly and grabby, I love it. Figured if we were at home you wouldn’t worry about nothing and could just relax. I could carry you up to bed and love on you all night long–”

“All night?”

“All. Night.” Bucky emphasized. “Or at least until you’d had your fill of me. We don’t switch all that much anymore, but we could tonight. Want you inside of me just as bad as I wanna be inside of you.”

“Damn, babe.” Tony wriggled on Bucky’s lab. “That all sounds amazing.”

“I thought so.” Bucky said ruefully. “But nothing I’ve planned today has gone right so–”

“I dunno, I thought today was pretty perfect.” Tony countered, and when Bucky snorted in disbelief, he insisted– “No, no I’m serious! Today was pretty perfect, you know why?”

“I still smell lake water if I breathe too deep.” Bucky deadpanned. “How was anything about today  _remotely_  perfect?”

“Well because–” Tony plucked at the hem of Bucky’s towel, drawing his thumb over the tempting jut of a hipbone. “–Because  _you_  planned it all. I mean, I woke up to my super hot boyfriend freshly showered and squeaky clean wearing nothing but a towel, ready to wake me up with a song instead of me having to wake up to my alarm.”

“Well yeah, but–”

“And then you took me to breakfast at a place that no one besides someone who loved me would know I loved.” He continued. “Bookshops like that barely exist anymore and when I do read, it’s usually on my phone in between meetings. No one knows I love french themed decor, and I can’t remember the last time I had either salmon or eggs Benedict which means you pay an awful lot of attention to me and what I like.”

“Of course I do, sugar.”

“Right.” Tony’s cheeks turned a little pink. “And the pancakes were fine, they don’t call it the House of Pancakes because they don’t know how to make them, you know. Breakfast was  _fine_  and you kept getting a whip cream mustache from your hot chocolate and it was so sweet I could have melted right there.”

“Oh.” Bucky’s eyes widened. “You didn’t hate breakfast?”

“Steve hadn’t eaten all the bacon.” Tony pointed out. “Sam and Clint weren’t arguing over who can eat more eggs. Natasha wasn’t adding that skin melting hot sauce to everything and Pepper wasn’t scolding me about eating healthier. Bucky, that was the most relaxing breakfast I’ve had in years.”

“Okay.” Finally a tiny smile from the big soldier when Tony kissed him sweetly. “Then I guess that’s not so bad.”

“Okay and the swans.” Tony blew out a deep breath and Bucky tensed again. “I never went on those boats because I didn’t have anyone I wanted to go with, alright? That entire thing is sappy and cheesy and terrible and honestly super boring, but when you’re with someone you’re sweet on, it becomes real fun. The big giant birds are suddenly beautiful and graceful and the way they hug and do that weird neck rub thing makes two people want to kiss, right? And paddle boating? Terrible, oh my god. But squished together on a small seat while working together to move in random circles across a lake? So cute.”

“The swans attacked us.”

“Okay, I didn’t plan on that.” Tony winced. “But still. I got to do something I’ve always wanted to do with the man I love. And then you gave me a piggy back ride for six blocks, Buck. Six blocks. I got to get my legs around you and– _ahem_ – get my rub on for six blocks.”

“Ah, so it  _wasn’t_  in fact your phone digging into my back?”

“Nah.” Tony gave another little wiggle that Bucky groaning and holding him tighter. “I was just super happy to see you. And look, now we’re all showered and fresh again, I’m wearing nothing beneath my robe and that towel isn’t leaving a whole much to the imagination so what say we–” a quick tug at Bucky’s towel so it came unclasped. “–skip right to the part where you love me all night long?”

“It’s like two in the afternoon, baby doll.” Bucky grinned when Tony pulled at his towel impatiently. “You want to start that sort of thing now?”

“We could start it now.” Tony slid off Bucky’s lap to his knees, pushing the towel away and licking his lips when he saw that Bucky was already  _ready_. “And then we could eat and then nap and then do it again and then order dessert you can steal an apron from the kitchen to wear while you feed me chocolate things and–”

He shut up when Bucky bent down and sealed their mouths together.

“I love you, sweet thing.” Bucky whispered. “Happy Valentines Day.”

“Happy Valentines Day, soldier.”


End file.
